I didn't mean to disappear for almost two months.
But instead of fighting it, I finally embraced the fact that blogging had fallen way down on my list of priorities, and I gave myself permission to not worry about it.
Since I began this blog over three years ago, blogging has been one of my primary sources of day-to-day relationships. (How sad does that sound? But it's true.) I kept wanting to get out and make real-life friends, but I was just having such a hard time figuring out how to do that. Even once I did make some friends, blogging had become so important to me that it was natural that I would balance both.
Yet now I've come to a point in my life where it's time for real-life relationships to get most, if not all, of my attention.
And to be honest, some days it sucks. I am quiet before I get to know people. I somehow manage to be incredibly awkward around people my own age. (No problem with kids or old people, but my own peer group eludes me.) I'll sit in the moms group meeting and think "Dang! I'm next to that girl that never talks again! How am I supposed to make friends?" before realizing that the person on the other side of me is probably thinking the same thing.
Despite my awkwardness, I've somehow taken on varying levels of responsibility in three different groups. I really do like being involved (once I get past the getting-to-know-you stage), but right now that seems to be plenty. So what did my husband and I do but volunteer for our neighborhood welcoming committee - which apparently will only consist of the two of us welcoming all newcomers in our entire 300 home subdivision.
Actually, developing relationships with our neighbors has been one of the aspects of real-life relationships that I've been surprised by. Turns out, I love living in suburbia, or at least on our little slice of cul-de-sac. Kids are outside all the time, and more often than not Miriam pulls me out to join them. I chat with dog-walkers and watch as my husband and another dad take on the middle-schoolers in basketball. I finally realize what a day-in, day-out community can be. It's pretty awesome.
So between neighbors and playdates and meetings and my extended family, there's not a lot of time for blogging. And in my mind, that's how it should be. Perhaps that's a scandalous thing to say in this day and age, but I would rather have fewer stronger real-life connections than a hundred weak online ones. Some people are better able to balance than I am, and don't have necessarily have to make that concession, but I'm afraid I do. (Now if only you blogging friends that I do miss could just move in nearby, that would be perfect. I'll bring you something great from the welcome committee!)
Where does that leave my beloved blog? In the lurch, I suppose. I have half a dozen great post ideas, but they remain unwritten. I'm sure I could make the time, for example, in the evenings, but that's
the primary time I have for my husband, and the computer already sucks
enough time away from that most important of relationships. Plus with Halloween costumes and then birthdays and Christmas on the horizon, my sewing machine will likely trump the computer this fall. But we'll see. I'm not ready to completely hang up my hat. In the meantime, I'll probably continue to post sporadically, and I do still keep up with my favorite blogs, albeit with infrequent comments. I just thought I should let you all know that we're alive and well here, and if I'm not around, it's not you - it really is me!