Lazy Parenting

I find it very interesting when people say they've made certain parenting choices because they're lazy.* 

I mostly hear it in reference to co-sleeping, along the lines of "We co-sleep because I'm too lazy to get out of bed at night."

Perhaps there are some instances where this is the case, but I actually kind of doubt it. For example, if you thought co-sleeping was completely unsafe, you wouldn't potentially put your child's life at risk just because you were lazy. (For the record, it can be perfectly safe, but that's not the point here.) If you co-sleep, you've probably decided to do it because that's the best way for everyone in your family to get the most sleep. Yes, much of that decision probably hinges on not having to get up in order to feed the baby, but I would consider that more a matter of making your life easier rather than succumbing to laziness.

The other thing about claiming laziness as motivation is that it can often be used to justify the opposite as well. Take breastfeeding, for example. A mother could make the case that she nurses exclusively because she's too lazy to deal with formula, making and cleaning bottles, etc. But at the same time another mother could make the case that she only uses bottles because she's too lazy to be the one to always feed the baby - this way her husband/mother/babysitter/whoever can do more of the work. The rationale of laziness can be used in multiple ways.

Laziness could be justification of starting solids with your baby as finger foods (no separate meals) or with buying jars (no cleaning up after making homemade purees). Laziness could be claimed in using elimination communication (fewer diaper changes and earlier potty training) or in using diapers past toddlerhood (no diaper wars and no accidents on floors).

The funny thing is, I only hear about laziness in reference to the "crunchier" choices. Perhaps that's because these mothers** know their choices aren't necessarily mainstream and they want to justify it without getting into a debate and sounding like they're looking down on other mother's choices? Perhaps it's because the mothers who are making the choices to do otherwise already have enough people making them feel guilty and they aren't about to denigrate what they're doing?

I don't really know. What I do know is that in most cases, there's a lot more going into these choices than just a mother's sloth. (I don't even really need to list the factors - expenses, father's role, daily care situation, etc.) These choices are made based on what's best for that particular family at that particular time - and I think the family will naturally tend to view them as the easiest solutions.

For the record, I don't think any of these things are being lazy, because so far I've found that laziness is fairly incompatible with parenthood. Even if you wanted to be lazy, you're still doing a heck of a lot of work!

So is it a disservice to label something as the "lazy choice"? Is it even accurate? Would it be better to call it the easier choice for that family, or am I just overanalyzing? Have you joked about making parenting choices based on laziness?


* I'm not meaning this to be a critique, more just an observation - so if you've said this before please don't think I'm criticizing you personally!
** Let's be honest, it's not the dads saying this - heaven help the father who talks about being lazy in reference to caring for his child!