The great dog debate

We've toyed with the idea of getting a dog for months now. My husband and I have some differences of opinion when it comes to dogs, though. He does not want a fence; I do not want to pick up the poo. He wants a cute little dog like a dachshund; I want a big family dog like a lab. He wants an indoor dog and would even allow it to sleep with us (ew!); I want an outdoor dog that doesn't set foot in the bedroom.

The timing is another thing. We'd both like a dog when we have kids. I don't so much need one when we have babies. Haven't you heard the horror stories of dogs getting jealous and turning on the infant when they no longer have their master's undivided attention? And yet, my husband the scientist is convinced that we need a dog before we even get pregnant, as it would impart some sort of super-immunity to our child in utero, staving off allergies and even diseases.

Luckily, we haven't really had to settle these differences, as my father-in-law has the final say (it is his house, after all), and his say so far has been "no." Even when a dog miraculously appeared at our front door, he did not give in.

And even if he ever did change his mind, I have a strict list of requirements the mutt must meet. Short hair that doesn't shed, medium-sized or larger, child-friendly, easily-trained, no yip-yipping, a female that's preferably not been fixed. Since my husband is going to be a softie, it's clearly up to me to be the bad cop here.


And yet...  For all my tough talk, when I see a puppy, I melt.

So when my husband's uncle mentioned they might be getting rid of one of their dogs (pictured above), we jumped. And my FIL actually said that, provided she doesn't ruin the new kitchen cabinets, we can get her. She's a two year old beagle. She's an outside dog trained to hunt, but isn't the best at it. My husband's hoping that whatever makes her a bad hunting dog would make her a good indoor dog. His uncle's coming to town tonight and we're going to quiz him on the details about this dog. If we do end up getting her, it probably wouldn't be 'til late January, as we're going to be in and out of town. I keep trying to think critically about this decision, but I know if we visit her I'm going to be sold.

"Isn't it funny," I said to my husband. "Most people get a dog without thinking much and yet have to think long and hard about whether they're ready for children; we know we're ready for children, but have to think long and hard about whether we're ready for a dog!"

He just shook his head and replied, "We're ready for both."

Christmas after a loss

It's hard.

Since I know there are several of us who have lost loved ones this year, I thought I'd take a moment to ask for two things from you dear readers.

First, for your prayers for God's comfort and consolation and the peace of the Holy Spirit to be with those suffering from loss. Feel free to add your specific prayer requests in the comments. Mine is for my husband, father-in-law, and brother-in-laws as they experience their first Christmas without my mother-in-law.

My second request is for your gentle suggestions of anything that may help people through this time. Of course despite any helpful advice, it's still going to be sad. Even though it's the birth of our Savior, and we want to be joyful, there will be at least pangs that are bittersweet. But so far at least, I have felt that there are still joyful moments in this season.

The two suggestions we are trying this Christmas are the following:

• An ornament with the departed's name and/or picture. (You might be a bit careful with this one. I gave this to a friend who lost her brother two years ago and she really appreciated it. However, she also got one from her mom and rather resented it. Just be sure to try to feel the recipient out if it's not for you.)
• A stocking for the departed, which each family member puts a little something in. (I think this is going to be really hard. I expect a lot of tears when we go through it.)
  

Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences with honoring a loved one. And to all, who are suffering and who are not, I wish you a truly merry and peaceful Christmas.

Light blogging ahead

Between Christmas this week, visiting my family in Missouri next week (yay!!), a conference the week after that, a trip to Texas two weeks after that, and somehow finishing the first draft of my dissertation in that time period, it looks like my next month is going to be a busy blur. I'm hoping to stay active on here and in your comboxes, but I'm trying to be realistic about it and make sure to prioritize.


That's all. To make up for the fact that this post is really boring, here's a fun video of Christmas lights. The music reflects how the next several weeks will feel! Also, I asked my husband the scientist if we could do that and he laughed and shook his head. I'm taking that as a no.

Little gifts

I ate a chocolate-peppermint cookie before 8:00 this morning.

Okay, now that I got that off my chest, let's move on. I made three different types of Christmas cookies last week. I actually wanted to make one or two more, but my husband the scientist protested. Yes, my chocolate-loving husband asked that I not make any more. Which makes sense, as we were the only two people eating them.

I explained to him that I was making extra for other people, like the mailman. He and my FIL looked at me like I was crazy. My FIL kindly explained to me that the mailman already gets paid, so we don't have to give him anything.

Well, yeah. But isn't it nice to show our appreciation for them?

"I'll bet you all gave gifts to your schoolteachers, too," he laughed.

Yes, of course. And Sunday school teachers and the bus driver. Didn't everybody?

Apparently not. But I am determined to spread some cheer anyway. Perhaps it will mean even more if people around here don't do that! Or perhaps they will think I'm crazy. But as long as it's crazy in a good way, I'm fine with that.

Do you all do little gifts as tokens of appreciation? (And is it really silly that I put gift baggies on top of the trashcan?)

7 Quick Takes (16)

1

We finally got our tree and pulled out most of the decorations! My husband the scientist was most excited about pulling out all of his family's old trains. They've been in boxes for years, and he was so excited to get them out. At one point he couldn't fix one of them, and said he might need to go to a train store and have them help him. Then he said, "Wait, I'm a rocket scientist. I can figure this out!"

And he did.

And he was so excited when he did, that he had to show me before dinner. And I had to say, "That's nice, dear, now let's go eat" four times before he would put his toys down and come to the table.

2

I heard this week that the Pope plugged the book The Civilization of Love. Apparently this is a big deal, because he doesn't do that too often. I read it this past summer, and to be honest, found myself dozing off at points. But if the Pope thinks it's good enough to recommend, perhaps I should give it a reread (when I'm quite awake and alert).

3

I found out in the same day that Pope Benedict and Barack Obama are both on facebook. I don't know why I was surprised.

 4

You know who is soon to not be on facebook? My husband the scientist. He's threatened for months (years?) to leave it, mostly because he never uses it and really isn't into the whole social networking thing. Well, the other day he finally decided to close his account on December 31. He even wrote a status update to announce this. I think this is the first time he's ever written a status update. Here it is:

I'M DONE. It's over between Facebook and me. First: I'm too old for this stuff. Second: I have no use for this stuff. Third: It's time for me to free my mind. January 1, 2010 is the day I untether my mind, body, and soul from the matrix (a.k.a. Facebook). If you want to get in contact with me, you can find me in reality.

(I was going to include a picture of this, but realized I don't know how to edit a picture on a mac. I was able to do a screenshot, but didn't know how to edit it after that. Is there like Paint or anything that I can use to block out names and whatnot? Not that I'm really worried about you finding out our names. It'd probably be quite easy to do. And if I've ever emailed you, you already have it. Does it seem to anyone else like this parenthetical comment should be its own QuickTake? It's getting long enough...)

5

I know I'm not the only person a little panicked that Christmas is a week away and their shopping is still not done. Earlier this week I went out to do it, and it turned out that everything (everything) is made in China. Anything not made in China is inevitably made in India. Nothing is made in America.

I came home and took it out on my poor husband the scientist, who had decreed that we would only buy American products this year. And then felt guilty the whole night for being crabby with him.

Luckily we went out again last night with a bit more success, and I'm planning to finish up this morning. I'm determined to finish today, because I don't want to be out in the craziness that is the weekend before Christmas, especially since it's supposed to snow here!

6

Sarah at This Heavenly Life had her second book carnival yesterday, and I missed it. I'm so disappointed! Mostly because after her first, I went to our library book sale and bought a bunch of books, and was so excited to participate!

I bet I still could, actually. She's super nice like that. But the wind has gone out of my sails for it. So I'll just show you a picture of the post that could've been. And resolve to remember to do it next time.

7

If you are grossed out by feet, consider this the end of my QuickTakes and do not scroll down to the bottom.

Okay, so for the rest of you, I'd like you to know that my toe is gross. It has a purple bruise under the toenail. This happens once in a while, because my shoes do not fit right. But I really like to wear them, because they are those indoor soccer shoes that all the real soccer players wear. I feel cool when I wear them.

But really cool people do not buy shoes a size too small. Really cool people do not insist on wearing them to play indoor soccer for two and a half years, despite your big toes screaming in pain and numerous blood blisters. Really cool people, upon taking off their toenail polish to discover what is below, immediately cease wearing the shoes that caused this.

Actually, it doesn't look so bad in this picture. And you know, it doesn't really hurt now, five days later.

Oh dear, I'm starting to rationalize keeping the shoes. I'd better donate them ASAP.

Check out more QuickTakes at www.conversiondiary.com!

The Helper

Various translations of Genesis 2:18 - 

The Lord God said: "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

The Lord God said: "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him."

And the Lord God said: "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helpmeet for him."

Then Yhwh God said: It is not good, the man's being alone, let me make for him a helper matching him.

I didn't always like this passage. I'll give you one guess why...

Yup, helper. Um, excuse me? Is that all a woman is? Just someone created to serve men? I don't think so! God gave me a mind, too, and I can do a lot more than just be a slave to a man. Ugh.

Thankfully I've done some more reading and come to realize that this is not what the Bible means by helper. Of course, people have interpreted it as such, but it's much more! So let's take a moment to look at this phrase, shall we?

According to my study Bible's reading guide: "The term helper does not imply an inferior assistant but a genuine partner who comes to the aid of another. God is often called a "helper" for those in need (Ps 10, 14; 54, 4)."

That's better. I'm all about being a partner with my husband. And I was intrigued by the fact that God is also called a helper. In fact, this study was super helpful in explaining the term:

The English term "helper" is the translation of the Hebrew word 'ezer. This noun is found nineteen times in the Old Testament - fifteen of those occurrences refer to divine aid. That woman is "helper" ('ezer) to man, then, is not at all pejorative or degrading if this description is also used at other times to describe God himself. ...

In Genesis 2:18-25, God is revealing that humanity is not "complete" until the arrival of a "helper." This notion of woman as "helper" is far from belittling. John Paul II makes clear, it "should not be interpreted as meaning that the woman is man's servant - 'helper' is not the equivalent of 'servant'; the psalmist says to God: 'You are my help' (Ps 70:5; cf. Ps 115:9, 10, 11; Ps 118:7; Ps 146:5); rather the whole statement means that woman is able to collaborate with man because she complements him perfectly. Woman is another kind of 'ego' in their common humanity, which consists of male and female in perfectly equal dignity."

This sounded great! Just to be sure, I decided I needed to check for myself and look up every instance of 'ezer in the Bible. Then I remembered that I don't speak or read Hebrew, nor do I own a Hebrew Bible, nor do I have the time to go through one page by page. So naturally I turned to the great wide Web.

I found a list of every 'ezer instance on this page, where the guy noted that 'ezer is not a term that indicates inferiority or subordination - if that was the case, the Bible would be saying God was inferior to Israel. (We all know that's not the case.) He also stresses the complementarity of men and women.

One of the most interesting reflections on this word discussed how 'ezer is usually used in a military sense in the OT. She concludes that God made women to be warriors! Now that's more my style.

Woman was not created with the sole purpose of serving man. Men and women are equal in dignity - neither is superior or inferior. They are called to mutual submission (thank you, JPII). Both can be warriors, in a sense. And yet, men and women are different - they complement each other. They have different strengths. Perhaps they are both warriors, fighting the same battle, but with different techniques.

Thoughts?

Join us!

As Fumbling Toward Grace mentioned today, we're opening up our virtual book club to all of you! We just finished reading our first book, and there will be guest posting on it in the future. Now that we've kind of figured out how to do this, we wanted to invite you to take part in the next one!

We've narrowed it down to the following three books:

Feminism is Not the Story of My Life by Elizabeth Fox-Genovese (I read another of her books and thought it was good)

Mommy Wars edited by Leslie Morgan Steiner (No, neither of us are mothers - yet!)

The Case for Marriage by Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher (subtitle: Why Married People are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially)

If you're interested, please leave a comment and let us know which book you'd prefer! And if you can't commit to it right now, but have read one of these books or have suggestions for others, please share!

Not Me Monday - The Secret is Out

I've fallen in love with yet another blog. The Inadvertent Farmer is hilarious, she has beautiful photos, and she owns a camel (!). I particularly enjoy her "Not Me Monday" posts, so I'm taking a stab at it. I don't know that I want to do another meme/blog carnival/whatever it is (and I don't know if this one still exists, as the original lady hasn't done one since March?), but this one has so much potential! (Another one that looks fun is Chelsea's Ten on Tuesday, if you're interested!)


So, what did I not do this weekend?


At my husband the scientist's office party, surrounded by the other scientists, when his boss asked if we were thinking about starting a family yet, I did not exclaim "YES!! And I can't wait!" I would never scream such a thing across the table to his boss at a nice restaurant, especially when the question was addressed to my husband and not me.

And when we were talking with his other boss's wife about Christmas presents later and she was confused why I would ask for different gifts from my husband than my parents, I did not jump up and down and say "Babies!! I want my husband to give me babies!"

At another Christmas party the next night, when getting advice on what should be on our list of things to do by our 5 year anniversary (go skiing, go to the shore, experience a big college football game, travel to X), of course I did not inform these two men that babies were on the top of my list, and I could care less about the rest.

And when we saw adorable children several times on Sunday, my husband did not insist it could only be a sign from God if the children physically fell into our laps. And I did not contemplate bribing a four year old to do just that, only to be stopped by my lack of cash or candy. Nor did I resolve to have an important conversation when ovulation comes around again.

I would never do any of these things!


What did you not do this weekend?

7 Quick Takes (15)

1

I have actually been getting a lot of writing done! I am thrilled about this, because I was really frustrated by the slow pace my research has taken the last couple months. Suddenly I am writing for hours each day - yes!!

The only downside to this is that I am spending so much time writing my dissertation that I haven't been able to devote my usual amount of time to blog reading and commenting. Sorry ladies. I am still at least trying to read them! Hopefully I will finish two (or even three?!) chapters this afternoon and be able to jump back in to the blogosphere.

2

My dad called this morning. Apparently my mom is way behind on Christmas and told him he needs to help out with the gifts. What was supposed to be a short question about an idea for my husband turned into a half hour discussion with simultaneous internet searches!

I have to say, it is nice being able to turn to your husband to help out with Christmas. Usually my dad doesn't do gifts, but as his work has slowed and my mom's has quickened, and his experience with internet shopping has increased, he's getting in on it! With research taking over my life, my husband the scientist is also taking the reigns on our Christmas preparation so far. He has pulled out the decorations and even talked about doing some cards. Have I mentioned how great he is?

3

We're not in the Midwest anymore. I've discovered that I can't assume everyone's Christian!

Okay, maybe you all have always known this, but it is so weird for me to have to worry about this. It has never been on my radar before! The other day I asked a little boy about his list for Santa and he immediately corrected me "Christmas and Hanukkah." Oops. I was then told about Hanukkah Harry, who apparently looks just like Santa Claus only his colors are purple and yellow.

The funny thing is, my Jewish friend informed me that Hanukkah's not even a major holiday.

4

The other day I got to talk to the fantastic blogger from Fumbling Towards Grace! We chatted about a book that we read together for our "virtual book club." It was so much fun to actually talk with someone that I already feel like I know!

Look for a guest post from her about the book sometime in the future!

5

I don't know if you noticed, but my prayer card for humility had St. Dymphna on it. I had never heard of her, so I looked her up. Apparently she's the patron saint of people with mental and nervous disorders and incest victims! Agh! Thankfully I can't relate to that. I still have yet to see her particular help in the virtue of humility. Can anyone help me out with that?

 6

And speaking of humility...

Last weekend I was making a beautiful birthday cake for my husband the scientist, and it was awesome. I decided I would blog about it and took pictures as I went. I had big plans of bragging on how easy it is to make such a great cake. I cut two round cakes in half so there were four layers (much more impressive than two) and used double the frosting. As I finished, the fourth and final layer broke in my hands.

I was disgusted. That's what I get for being all impressed with myself!

It turned out fine, though! I just slapped some extra icing in there and you couldn't tell by looking at it!

7

I stink. Seriously, my armpits smell. I need to hurry off here and get back to work so that I can finish with enough time to shower so I'm fresh and ready to go to my husband's office Christmas party tonight!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Implementing modesty (part 2)

I’ve had a hard time getting around to posting this. I’m really busy with my research right now and feeling a bit overwhelmed by the combination of that and the busiest time of the year! Writing this was going to take too much time and be too long, and maybe since I’d already talked about modesty multiple times, it had been covered enough. To be honest, now that my closet’s cleaned out and I don’t have to worry about it any more, I’m starting to get a little bored by it all. Then a new post showed up in my reader: The Top 10 Reasons Modesty Gets a Yawn. Oops. Maybe I should at least finish what I’ve started, huh?

So here we go again! Come along for one last whirl through my closet, won’t you? Today’s agenda: dressy clothes and workout clothes. We’ll finish off with what to do with the clothes that don’t make the cut.

Before I set about purging my wardrobe of immodest clothes, I wondered whether it was okay to have different standards for different occasions. Throughout the process, I’ve realized that this is, well, obvious. For example, my husband the scientist pointed out that a dress that we deemed modest was still not appropriate church attire. (He thinks my skirts should be at least below my knees. He’s more of a stickler than I am! And to think I was worried about him being against this whole thing!)

I think the key to successfully acknowledging that different standards exist for different occasions is to not just throw out the standards altogether for certain occasions. Does that make sense? Although the criteria may differ, there are still criteria to be met. Instead of thinking about how much you can get away with, it seems to me that it’s better to have one minimum standard and add from there. Not that this standard should be low – but it's the base to build on.


Dressing Up

I thought this was going to be more painful than it was. I did lose a hunk of dresses. Here they are, in all their colorful, inappropriate glory.

For the most part I had to ditch them because they were too low cut. (What can I say – sometimes I took advantage of the fact that I could get away with no bra!) A couple looked too old/young. It was surprisingly easy to part with these. I think this is because I’d already done it once with my shirts.

There were several dresses I did not get rid of, but felt were on the line simply because they were strapless or spaghetti-strapped. Other than that, they were good, though (not too short, not too tight), and they were less low-cut than other things, so they got to stay.

For now at least. I reserve the right to change my mind (in a more conservative direction – don’t let me go the other way!). The red one on the far right still might go.

The other thing I did was go through and add reminders to my wardrobe. I cut out little yellow “undershirt!” flags and hung them on the hangers. I did this because (a) I’m a nerd and (b) I might be tempted to scrap all this modesty stuff a few months from now, and I want something to prevent me.

So there you have it. For the most part, going through my dresses was easy peasy!



What about my workout clothes?

This was a little more difficult. I love my running shorts, because (a) they make me look like a real athlete, (b) they have the underwear built in, (c) they have a little pocket for your key, and (d) they let my legs get nice and tan. But they are darn short, and I have been subjected to annoying boys hollering from car windows. (It’s not because I look good when I’m working out. I look like a sweaty beast.) So even though this type of shorts may be “appropriate” for the sport, I think I might still be objectifying myself when I wear them.

And really, what makes them appropriate? Why do runners need to wear such short shorts? Because having too much clothing will increase your drag, of course. Yeah, it’s about wind resistance. Do I run fast enough that this could ever possibly be an issue? No. Good-bye short shorts. Hello again to all my other gym shorts. (Darn – I have so many that I can’t even justify getting new ones!)

(Do you like the Texas flag ones? It seemed like every runner in Houston had a pair of these, so of course I had to get some when I lived there!)

Actually, I should mention how I went about this. I pulled the shorts on, stood with my arms at my sides, and saw where they fell in relation to my fingertips. The ones that were shorter than the tip of my thumb (no, not the very end of my fingers, I just couldn’t add those 2.5 inches) got pitched.

The thing is, my other workout shorts make me look so androgynous. At least I felt cute in the short shorts, you know? I do have a couple workout skorts, so I think that is the direction I am going to head from here on out. I just have to be careful that they’re not too short, too.

What about bike shorts? My favorite part is that they’re padded. Did you know this? It’s not just about the spandex. So I decided to keep my two pairs of bike shorts, for my bottom’s sake, with the caveat that I will pull on something else when not on my actual bike. Also, I was pleased to discover there is such a thing as a bike skort! (But I don’t bike enough to spend that kind of money, so I’ll just be pulling my gym shorts over my bike shorts for now.)

And finally, running tights. They’re basically leggings, only shinier. Those were banished. (That should give you a hint as to how I feel about leggings being fashionable now.) Not only are they immodest, but they aren’t really that warm. I might as well wear warmer sweats or trackpants, since, again, I don’t need to worry about wind resistance! I did not throw these completely out, though, because I like to use them to layer during the winter – they don’t bunch up like regular long underwear can.

Moving on to tops. I've never been one of those women who work out in just a sports bra (the credit goes entirely to self-consciousness). But I have many of those tops that are basically sports bras only longer. I love wearing them in the summer. I even love the weird tan lines I get from them. After consulting with my husband, I pitched two that were too tight, along with the white undershirts I sometimes run in (aka "A-shirts" or "wife-beaters").

I did keep two sports-bra-like tops. That night I dreamt about them. No joke – I dreamt that they were immodest and woke up thinking “I have to get rid of them!” I’m afraid to ask God if it was a sign, but I did pull them out and put them in the “sit on it and pray about it but you’re probably going to have to get rid of it” pile.

Also, this was a great opportunity to get rid of some of my excess. When we moved this summer, I thought I was doing great by getting rid of half of my t-shirts. Guess how many I still had?

Thirty. Mind you, I don’t actually buy t-shirts. They just somehow accumulate! I was able to bring myself to toss out 12. Yes, that still leaves me with 18. What can I say – I’m a work in progress.

Oh, and I just remembered, there was another class of shorts that I went through. The little cotton short shorts. I ended up keeping the boxer-like ones and getting rid of the ones with writing on the butt. I also pitched the ones where you turn the waistband over so it’s white on top (not pictured). The ones I kept are only to be worn around the house. That brings me to the final question in all this.

What do I do with the immodest clothes?

I had to give some thought to this. A couple people suggested I keep them and just wear them around the house for my husband. I think this has some merit, and that’s why I did keep those little boxer shorts. But I didn’t want to do this too much, for three reasons. 1) I’m too lazy to change out of “house clothes” when I need to run to the store or something, and I’m afraid the temptation would be too great to still wear those clothes if they’re still hanging around. 2) Eventually we will have children, and I’m not sure what kind of house dress I’d like to model for them. This isn’t really a huge reason, just something to keep in mind. 3) We live with my father-in-law. Therefore, I don’t feel all that comfortable prancing around in immodest clothes. And when he’s out of town, well, I have some much less modest things that I’d rather wear for my husband! ;)

So what to do if I actually want items expelled from my wardrobe? I probably shouldn't donate them, right, as that would just leave another woman out there dressing immodestly? (I did donate the ones that were simply age-inappropriate.) So do I literally throw away the rest? The cheapskate in me hates to waste perfectly good clothes. So I came up with three ideas: 1) make a patch quilt out of them (I did this once with high school clothes and it was awesome!); 2) cut them up and use as rags; 3) imitate other more creative bloggers and turn them into other cute things.



Phew, so there you have it! Can you believe that the purging/purifying process actually felt good after a while? At the beginning I was pouting and grudgingly accepting it, but by the end I was relieved with every item my husband gave the thumbs down to. It feels so good to not have those clothes hanging around. And while I used to think that switching out your winter and summer clothes every year was a sign that you were a grown woman, I have to say that having all of my clothes hanging in my closet at the same time is a much nicer feeling. (We do have a large walk-in closet now that makes this possible.) I don’t have to worry about hauling clothes back and forth twice a year, and like having one less chore. Getting rid of the excess is really freeing!

Thanks for hanging on this long. Anyone have other tips on decontaminating your dressers? Or what to do with the clothes that don’t make the cut?

Taking a hint

You know how sometimes God will make something really clear to you? Isn't that the best? When you feel like, finally, you caught what He was hinting at and there's no doubt in your mind what move to make next? This doesn't necessarily happen often, so that makes it even more special in my mind. (Actually, I think it probably happens more often to those people who are actively listening for Him. Listening is not so much my strong suit.)

Well, over the past couple months I feel like He's been talking to me out the whazoo. This is great and exciting! But at the same time, I was feeling a little confused.

"God, I think you're calling me to too many different things right now," I might have mentioned. "And I'm really honored! And I'd love to serve You! But there's just so much and I'm overwhelmed. Where do I start?"

They were all good things, of course, but if I was in charge, I'd just call me to one thing at a time, so I'd make sure and do it well. As it was, I was bouncing around from wanting to dive into and proclaim New Feminism in four different ways, to wanting to contemplate and apply modesty, to trying to develop a relationship with Mary, to feeling a need to become more humble.

That last one, humility, is something I've known for a while. (We're talking years here. A decade even.) I always knew that of the seven deadly sins, pride was my big one! But it wasn't until the last couple months that I felt the need to actually do something about it.

So when Michelle posted a Litany of Humility the other day, I thought maybe I should try it out. I mean, if God was generous enough to make it that easy - all I had to do was print it out and I'd be good to go. But I hesitated, went on to read other people's blogs, and forgot about it as I went on with my day.

The next afternoon, I turned on the radio in my car. What was the announcer talking about? Humility, of course. What did he say next? How difficult and yet important it was to pray the Litany of Humility. Sometimes when things are that clear, you just have to shrug and say "Okay!"

And let me say that it is a hard prayer to pray. I do not particularly like doing it. But I can see the good in it. So even when I crinkled my nose and had to take a deep breath, I tried to pray it. A few times. God, of course, sensed my hesitation.

Fast forward to our last ENDOW study. Among the many topics of conversation, one was how God will make what He wants you to do manifestly clear. I nodded along. At the end, our leader told us how ENDOW sends out these beautiful prayer cards every Christmas. On the back of each one is a virtue, that God wants you to grow in over the next year.

"The Holy Spirit is going to make sure you get the right card for you," our leader explained.

I smiled at her obvious faith in this. How cute. And wouldn't it be funny if I did actually get humility? Then I'd know for sure. But I didn't really expect it, and wondered what virtue I would pull.

Why did I bother wondering and doubting?

Of course I got humility. Of course the Holy Spirit led me to say, no, not this first card I touched, I'm going for the one under it.

On the car ride home I laughed at myself. I'm such a silly human. How many times does God have to hit me over the head before I really will pay attention to Him?

And then all the pieces fell together. God wasn't calling me to a bunch of different things. Humility was the one thing God was calling me to, and all those other aspirations flow from it. Desiring a relationship with Mary, who was the Lord's humble handmaid. (If anyone had a reason to act holier-than-thou, it was her.) Desiring modesty, which as a virtue is so intertwined with humility. Even my interest in New Feminism is related to humility - one of the biggest things I learned from studying JPII's Letter to Women is the importance of being as opposed to doing. Prioritizing relationships over productivity. (I'm not sure I fully appreciate this teaching yet, so it's good to realize that I'm being called to experience it.)

So my goal is to grow in humility. I'm a bit nervous that it's gonna be really hard. But when God gives you so many hints, you've just got to take them. Who am I to say no?



Has God been nudging you lately? Have you taken the hint?

The Saturday Evening Blog Post (2)

I'm participating in Elizabeth Esther's Saturday Evening Blog Post again this month. It's tons of fun - you can read what everyone felt was their favorite post from the previous month!

I chose "Implementing modesty (finally!)" as mine. After approaching modesty several times last month, I finally got around to putting it into action! While the post is a bit long, it does have the benefit of being thorough! Plus since it was the most comments I'd ever received (thanks you all!!), I figured other people might've liked it, too.

(Also, I just went through my dresses last night - look for a follow-up next week!)

7 Quick Takes (14) - Happy Birthday Hubby!

Today is my husband the scientist's birthday! In honor of this, all seven of my Quick Takes today will be devoted to things I love about him. (If you are inclined to gag, you may stop reading at this time.)


1. He's funny.
One of the very first things that attracted me to my husband the scientist was his sense of humor. He's hilarious! I know a lot of people say this about their loved ones, but in his case it's not just my subjective opinion. He's a funny man. And bonus: his jokes aren't raunchy. They can be corny, but they're never disgusting. 

2. He's handsome and healthy.
I hate to brag, but my husband is a handsome man. You know the statue of David? My husband's body looks like that. I have a hard time keeping my hands off him!

Related to this, my husband is very healthy. While that may annoy me once in a while, usually I love it. Because when your husband makes sure to eat healthy and exercise, guess what you end up doing? Eating healthy and exercising. (Seriously, since being with him, and specifically eating together, my body looks better than it did when I was in college!) And why does he do it? Because he wants to live a healthy life, to be able to play with his kids and grandkids and not have to take 7+ pills a day by the time he turns 50. I fully support this goal!

3. He is passionate.
I love it when my husband gets all fired up. Sometimes I intentionally bring up a topic, just to get him going! Things are very black and white for my husband. (We complement each other well in that way, because I usually see several shades of gray!) While his passion is usually only revealed in his tirades against XYZ, it's definitely there in a positive way as well.

4. He takes care of me.
I feel so safe and secure with my husband. I think part of the reason is that he actually likes being a man. He likes protecting and providing for his family. I've realized that this is not oppressive in the least - it's actually liberating! (But I'll stop there, because it seems like that should be a whole other blog post!) I am so blessed that he takes his responsibilities seriously and embraces them!

5. He cares about other people.
My husband doesn't just limit his love to me and our future children. He cares about both of our families, even if he's annoyed by someone and doesn't want to care! The most obvious example of him caring for others is us moving in with his father. I am so proud of how my husband has stepped up since his mother passed away. He has taken on so much, during a time when many people might just turn into themselves in their grief.

Whew, and before I start crying just thinking about it, let me move on! I'll just add that he cares about his friends and even about our society, and I love him all the more for all this caring!

6. He helps me.
In everything from the dishes to my dissertation, my husband plays an active role. He'll empty the dishwasher in the morning so I don't have to. He'll cook whatever steak or crab cakes that I find too intimidating. He'll proofread and offer suggestions on an abstract I've written, even though linguistics is not his field at all. He'll clean the bathtub. Life really is easier when you have a partner to help you. It helps when your "partner" is married to you and is your best friend.

7. He is my best friend.
There are so many other things I could add, but that is really the best way to end this. My husband is my best friend. We can talk about everything! He makes my life so much better. I thank God every single day for letting me be married to the person I love most in this world.

Happy birthday to my snugglebunny! I love you!

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at www.conversiondiary.com.

The clearance aisle

I have a weakness for the clearance aisle. With much effort, I've been able to get it under control. After years of practice, I am now able to walk through the superstore clearance aisle without picking anything up. I can browse the shoe clearance aisle without sitting down to try any on. I can spend half an hour sorting through the clothing clearance aisle and trying clothes on and leave without buying anything. (Please note that I'm still not strong enough to simply avoid the clearance aisle - what if there's a spectacular deal lurking there?!)

But yesterday I rediscovered a clearance aisle that I could not master.

The fabric store clearance aisle. There were actually three aisles worth of clearance fabric. Through the first aisle, I was staying strong. The second aisle, I felt myself start to crumble. And in the third aisle, when I saw this fabric on clearance, I was a goner.

Normally $17 a yard, on sale for $8! Won't it make the most adorable little boy's baby blanket?

Never mind that I've rarely used my sewing machine in the last 6+ years.

Never mind that I should be spending my spare time and money on birthday gifts and Christmas gifts.

Never mind that I shouldn't even have spare time, since my research deadlines are looming.

Never mind that we're nowhere close to having a baby.

I had to have this fabric.

Never mind that I did not actually buy any batting or other things necessary to actually turn it into a blanket. For now, just rubbing my face against it and daydreaming of the day that it will wrap around a small child will have to be enough.


Anyone else out there with a particular clearance aisle weakness? Or an all-things-baby-related weakness?